Thursday, 27 January 2011

The Ugly Side of Blogging

I generally don't like negativity to seep into my blog posts but sometimes it's good to talk about things that are real and a little more 'meaty' than some lipstick I rate or shoes I'm coveting. Rest assured that, in line with my blogger pledge, something pretty and suitably whimsical will follow tomorrow.

{ Image credit: Getty Images }

Blogging is a wonderful, amazing thing. I enjoy every minute and cannot imagine my life without this little space on the big ol' interweb. I love the creative aspect. Love. I love the ability to chat with like-minded people who share common interests. I love the feedback I get from readers. I love being able to share a useful tip or to offer readers an escape for five minutes of their stressful day.
Blogging is beautiful 99% of the time. The ugly side of this fascinating form of media is referred to now and then; mostly through the occasional frustrated tweet or a closing remark in an unrelated blog post.

Today I'm going to lay it all out there...

Disclaimer: Please note that these comments are vast generalisations based on things I've noticed throughout six months of blogging and following other bloggers in the fashion and beauty community. No statement I make is directed at any one person - I have no particular person in mind when I make these comments - so please, readers, don't be paranoid! I say this because when controversial topics are raised people have a tendency to feel like things are directed at them, when they're not. Likewise, I'm not talking about myself or my own blog - these things have not necessarily happened to me!


1. You simply cannot please all of the people all of the time.

2. You will be hated. By someone. 'Haters' will try to pull you down in the most typical way bullying occurs - by finding your weakness and drawing attention to that. You'll be too fat, too thin, too rich, too poor.

3. The more beautiful will build popular blogs quicker and with less effort than someone who doesn't have classic good looks. That, unfortunately, is a fact of life.

4. People will be jealous of the number of 'followers' you have (and express that jealousy through hateful comments). That Google Friend Connect widget in the left sidebar has an awful lot to answer for.

5. There are blogging community cliques. No doubt. Just like there are in 'real life'. Some established bloggers will speak to all irrespective of that person's success (i.e. number of followers). Some will not.

6. People will 'rip-off' your blog - from post ideas to layout and design.

7. The blogging community intensifies the tendency to compare oneself to others. Jealousy and competitiveness appears to be rife.

8. Blogging is scarily addictive. If you don't make a conscious effort to reign it in, answering comments, tweets and emails and creating thoughtful, interesting posts can take over your life. It can quickly and easily become more than a part time gig.

9. Some PR companies 'prey' on bloggers, persuading them to feature their clients because they do not understand the true value promotion on their blog has. Thankfully most are professional and wouldn't dream of acting in such a patronising manner.

10. That Benefit blush will not make you look like your favourite beauty blogger who swears by it. It concerns me that blog readers get drawn in, in the same way we all do with any kind of advertising. It's not something bloggers need take responsibility for - I just wish readers were more aware.

I'd love to know whether you agree or disagree with the points I make. I accept anonymous comments on my blog so you needn't reveal your identity - please speak freely. Have you noticed any of these issues? Or been victim to it?

|| Ladies dresses in realistic sizes, for every type of woman. ||

133 comments:

  1. Okay, I was heading for bed but had to stop and read this post.

    A-freaking-MEN. This post is a must read for any blogger, and I for one will be saving it for future reminders.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's a scary post to write Laura. I've followed your blog forever so the fact you approve makes me sigh in relief :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been lucky. I get nothing but nice comments and lovely people so I can't really comment on 'haters' or 'the ugly side'. It's a shame some bloggers do though :/ It shouldn't be about that at all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I absolutely loved this post- you said everything that needs to be said!
    I have to say, I am guilty of the last one though, I see products on people and NEED them and buy them and realise that they aren't all they cracked up to be.
    Well done for braving it and posting this, I hope you don't get any 'haters' at all for it! :)
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Untill now i havent had any negative comments but i have only been blogging like a week and a half...do notice alot of people copy eachother, and sometimes I feel people actually havent read my posts which I put alot of effort into, they just comment to link back to their site which sucks, or they say ill follow you if you follow me...and im like um? I follow everyone who comments me regardless of them following me or not.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have had people leave negative comments, such as "this is rubbish delete it" and even if I know that it I should ignore it - it still hurts. I think it take around 5 positive comments/emails to counteract one negative one in my head. Having said that despite the down days - when it comes to the crunch I do love having a blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is such an amazing post! Definately all true and I completely agree! xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Absolutley brilliant post Sofia! Everything you said was true, if you take things to heart easily its makes the blogging world a scary place to put yourself out there. Luckily I have always been able to brush off any kind negativity, but others can really find it hurtful and disheartening which is a real shame.

    I love your blog and am glad you are in it for the long haul!

    Charlotte xx

    www.agirlwrites.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. 3 and 10. i agree wholeheartedly with both. its unfortunate that looks play such a part in successful blogging, but like you say its a fact of life unfortunately. I do put down probably about 30% of the people who follow me follow me because of my hair/way i look

    and 10, i cant agree more. this is why i will NEVER do a proper makeup tutorial. me showing someone how I put my makeup on will not make you look like me (again links back to looks).

    lovely little post! expect a link on sunday!

    ReplyDelete
  10. All of these things are so true. When I blog and I see these things, what I keep in mind is that, no matter where you go, you will see negativity. Whether it's in real life or on line. I love blogging and will love it no matter what because I get to do things that I would never have imagined doing! I have learned so much. I will never let any of these things "hurt" me. Sorry for the long rambly comment! :) amazing post!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very well said Sofia! I've only been blogging myself since the beginning of the year but having been a fan of reading blogs since the age of 15 I can vouch that these are all true. xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. There seems to be a recent surge of bloggers sticking up for themselves and I think it's good! I appreciate the honesty and integrity of some blogs I read (yours being one of those) and hope the negative bits don't put you off.
    I have just started a blog myself and will use your wise 10 observations to help me :)xx
    helenelizabethwrites.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. I myself don't have a blog but i have been reading loads over the past few months. I knew about some of the points you made but some surprised me such as the one "There are blogging community cliques." I probably should have expected it though. Anyway, loved this post and i love your blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree with that a lot! Well done for putting it out there! I would've added that there is also a lot of 'product judgement.' I find that some people just aren't interested in anything but MAC MAC MAC. Other make up does exist!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Truth, well said!

    All those things happen in real life (ok, maybe not 'followers' - ha - but instead friends) so blogging is great practise for dealing with this stuff offline aswell. x

    ReplyDelete
  16. You seem so down to Earth and I completely agree with you there. I admit I have copied little ideas off people in the past and I regret it but seeing it be done to other people and seeing them get hurt by hate makes me so angry! thank you for posting such a significant subject that people brush over thinking it will just go away. you seem lovely and your blog is one of the most original i've seen to date. xx

    lauren-pereira.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. You did good girly, you had nothing to worry about *high five* xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. soo true, this is a a really good post! xx

    ReplyDelete
  19. I hate the negative side of bloggin too...:( it stinks. But bloggin still such a fun thing to do. :) I'm glad u blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I agree wholeheartedly with you; it can be really easy to take blogging too seriously. It can be disheartening to put effort and thought into creating a post and someone to ignore your effort just to post a comment linking to their giveaway or something.

    I think so long as you do manage to curb your attachment to your blog (it is just a blog at the end of the day) and take it on the chin when you get positive and negative feedback then it can be a really fun hobby.

    Sadly, in some cases people do end up getting hurt and upset by comments and although it sounds a bit harsh - i don't really think a friendship can be formed over a blog and perhaps we just need to stop being so wound up in counting followers and comments and appreciate a blog for what it is - a blog.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  21. i totally agree with this, i had a very nasty girl leave hateful comments about my eyes after i posted a picture of some eyeshadow, so i took this to my advantage and i made a post about how i would improve my eyes and it actually worked, since i have been using certain products my eyes feel great. your always going to hate people hating you, its life which is a shame but it would be boring if we all got on, but i must say i do love your blog!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  22. I found this post really interesting and I actually find myself agreeing with all your points. I do love the blogging world, but there are aspects of it (like many of the ones you listed here) that I don't like. I just try stay on the positive side of it all and do it because I enjoy it, if I see things I don't like I try my best not to let it bother me. Thanks for the honest and thought provoking post xxx

    ReplyDelete
  23. Brilliant and very brave post - I completely agree with you! Everything you have put has definitely needed to be said!

    x

    ReplyDelete
  24. Really enjoyed reading this post and pretty much agreed with everything you've said! I wouldn't regard myself as conventionally good looking and i've found it so much harder to get into the blog world because of that, it's something i feel is about but not always explicitly said - i personally think it shouldn't be about looks, it should be about what you have to say as a blogger who is sharing your thoughts and life experiences - but there we go, unfortunately it reflects in real life too.

    I'm also not a fan of the bitchy/cliquey slide of blogging, something i've been noticing more and more - i try and stay out of it and not let it get to me. It shouldn't matter about followers, i know i blog because it's something i enjoy doing, so sad that blogging has to be turned into some big competition!

    Stacey xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. i love this post, i agree with every single thing you say, i know i don't have the classic good looks, but that doesnt stop me blogging, i love to write =) thank you and i am so glad a blogger posted this x

    ReplyDelete
  26. Some very interesting and true points Sofia, although I'm not sure I 100% agree with point number 3. I do believe that the prettier girls will perhaps appeal to more people, but there are girls out there who don't have a conventional 'pretty girl' look and they've got thousands of followers.

    I sometimes wish people in the blogging world would just chill out about the hate. Everyone is gonna get their share at some point and I think reacting the way that some people do is just adding fuel to the fire!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thank-you for a honest post and some very true advice.

    It's such a shame there is negativity around, but with posts like this it can only make us all step back for a minute and think x

    ReplyDelete
  28. I can totally understand how hard it can be to not compare yourself with other bloggers and find yourself lacking (I do it all the time). But to be catty to other bloggers just because they have more followers?? That's beyond pathetic.

    I think you're right. You just have to work hard at finding your own voice and maintaining a balance between your online life and your real life.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My hats off to you m'dear!! Well said and oh SO very true! Some points really hit home.

    I've been extremely lucky so far that I've only encountered kind fabulous people in the blogging world but I know all this you speak of is very real and true.

    Being supportive and kind is so much better...haters gonna hate ;)
    xo
    http://www.annawithlove.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. I can agree with nearly every one of those points! I guess there are positives and negatives in everything as people are always going to be at you for one thing or another.

    Although i think its important to remember the reasons why you blog!

    www.foreversweet89.blogspot.com
    X

    ReplyDelete
  31. Agree with most of these points. By the way your blog is looking super professional right now - I'm loving the layout (note to self: do not steal cool looking layout, lol) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Great post! I totally get what your saying, I started my blog May last year, only gained about 20 followers then gave up. Only recently I've gotten back into it, as I missed blogging and reading other blogs. Since getting back into it I've only managed to gain less than 10 followers, then you ask yourself are you not interesting enough/pretty enough/rich enough to buy interesting things to post, it's a tough, judgemental world out there, not just with blogging unfortunately

    Fashion Crossing

    ReplyDelete
  33. I literally just agree with everything that you have put. If people just accepted these facts then maybe the blogging world would be a lot easier. Personally I just brush off the negative side to things and just get on with being me. So many people want to be a blogger these days and fall at the first hurdles because they don't expect a lot of things. Like if you can't take that people may copy you or say mean things to you then just don't be a blogger. The fact is having a blog is such a huge way of 'putting yourself out there' and some people can be really naive to that. The frank and straight forward way that you wrote this post is amazing, I would have rambled on for god knows how long bascially saying the same points. I really hope that a lot of people wanting to become a blogger read this & the ones that moan a lot do too.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a great post, I'm glad you have wrote it- very to the point & not personal at all, so I think others will love it too!
    These are all so true, and I thank you SOOOO much for saying about the looks thing- and it is so so true. But then, I'm the same for following 'pretty' people, they just attracte me more (in a none lesbo way! ha)
    I think both follower counts & twitter and both bad things. Don't get me wrong, to know my follower # is going up makes me so so happy, and I don't see how any one could say it couldn't- having people read & follow your tiny little blog (in the whole world of millions of blogs) it does put a smile to my face. However, I would give up my followers, for people who actually read and commented & appreciated my posts & not just follow to follow.
    As for twitter, I do it, so I'm to blame, but I just spurt out crap! anger, love, hate everything. I fthink I forget people read it, they don't need to know everything, and people will get annoyed with certain things. I worry about it then, but then I think- well it is my twitter, my blog. I'm not doing anything to hurt any one, but then some one will say something (maybe not related at all) and that gets my parinoier (sp) up, and I just think I've done something to someone!
    & what ever I say, do or tweet- upsetting some one would not be what I planned, annoying some one would be ust as awful & to be hated or have some one say something about me in anyway shape or form is just such a heart sinking feeling. Obv haters are haters, but when it's more 'in the group' slightly closer people you tweet, or talk to! Hate it, wish I didn't feel like that- but then it seems some times I have every right to feel like that!
    Also the copying thing is so hard to get straight. There are so so so many blogs out there, from now, from awhile ago & they will just keep growing & growing! and yes, some ones blog may look like another, but theres only so much you can do to it- and maybe actually they were copying that girls blog they saw last year- who knows, but I don't think getting 'shitty' about 'copying' is the way to go about it. Like most things, just keep smiling & move on. You will soon realise who your friends are, who tweets your back, and who read your blog, who care for you even though they've never met you!
    GAHHHH sorry, comment over!
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  35. I agree with everything point you made Sofia. As much as I love the blogging world and I couldn't imagine my life without it, it comes with many posative and negative aspects. Over the year I have been involved in the community I have noticed how quick people can be put on a pedastool but alos how quick it can all be taken away from them, by the same people. I think half the problem is that everything is typed, by this I mean there is no tone of voice to be detected etc and people become so touchy because of this. I hate how competitive it all seems, we are not against each other, we should be supporting each other but unfortunately this isnt how it always works.
    I find myself comparing myself to other bloggers on a daily basis, but on the grounds of the content I offer not on the basis of followers. I would never be grudge someone the success that can from such a wonderful thing.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  36. I agree with most of these but not that if you're prettier your blog will be popular. If you're pretty but have no personality I will NOT follow you. I like to read blogs written by people with brains and unique ideas, I don't care about outfit posts and how pretty they look in them really. But that's just me and I suppose on the whole it may be true that pretty bloggers are more successful!

    ReplyDelete
  37. good for you!

    This rang true in so many ways. The one thing that bothers me the most is the "big" bloggers who pay no mind to the lil guys. And you know that when those lil guys become big, those original bloggers will want to be best friends. It's disheartening, but such is life. The truth of the matter is, eventually the bullies will get whats coming to them. So keep smilin and keep doing your thing! At least, that's what I tell myself :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. No 3 is the one that stood out to me the most because I was thinking about it the other day! It really annoys me and I have found it to be VERY true with like 99.9% of the 'top bloggers' but again, like you said, it's life :)
    End of the day.. I am following them too (only if their content is genuinely good though)!
    Good on you for saying it loud and proud.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I pretty much agree with every single point you made. And I really related to this post, so thanks a million. I literally found your blog today, and I'm absolutely loving it.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  40. I agree with all of it. I get so annoyed when people whore for followers, as if having a certain number of people on your google friend connect thingymajobby elevates you to some kind of blogging lordship status. I blog because I like writing. I've been ~blogging~ for 8 years,livejournal etc etc, I enjoy writing, and with some blogs makes me wonder if some people just do it because they actually enjoy writing? Because if they did, surely follower numbers wouldn't count? Or are they doing it for PR freebies and think the internet is some kind of high school popularity contest. You can usually tell by the posts anyway and then avoid them. I loved reading this and fully agree with you on everything. The 'popular' blogs are popular for a reason and after this yours should be one of them. This is fabulous post x

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have noticed #3...but surely, that just makes the lesser attractive of us guilty of #7?

    ReplyDelete
  42. This post came at just the right time for me, thank you! In many respects I've been quite lucky with 'hate' but occasionally I get some really personal and nasty comments thrown my way and I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt sometimes. But on the flip side I now realise that these people must lead very sad lives to spare the time and go to all the effort of being nasty for the sake of it. It's made me a stronger person in the long run but it shouldn't be such a routine aspect of blogging, it's a shame!

    I agree with everything you've said, this really is a brave and wonderful post and one that I think every blogger should read.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  43. actually im just going to add because i think what i said originally sounds a tad off and super up myself, which it isnt intending like im saying oh im frikking gawwwjus hence why people follow me.

    what i mean is that the prettier you are/your blog is, the overall "look" of a blog (in my opinion, not just the way YOU look) plays a massive part in how people react to following a blog. i think a decent layout and consistent posting styles, for example, im really funny about pictures that aren't resized correctly! I think its alot easier to fake a good blog when you have a good layout, a pretty face and a fancy smancy camera.

    Thing is blogging is about escapism and voyeurism in equal parts. you follow a person because your interested in them and what they have to say. what they wear or the makeup they buy. Its also escaping into a world where your presenting yourself as someone in a little bubble where you only portray the good things about yourself. under my makeup i look vile, and if people saw my hair IRL most people would think that i'd been dragged through a bush backwards!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you so much for writing this. I think you really hit the head on the nails with these points. Yep, these are the ugly facts and not a lot of people like to hear them. I do find that there are cliques and I do find that a lot of bloggers (and I read all sorts of blogs even outside our community here) grow very inflated egos over time. Might I say I also detect a false-friendliness in bloggers, too? I see a lot of 'ripping off' going on, too, though I think a lot of that is misconstrued because loads of people like the same things and others are quick to say they are 'copying.' And I am especially with you on #10! I often see bloggers feed into the hype/trends and get something because a couple of big bloggers have it or it's the IT thing. I wish more people understood that getting something isn't going to make them like someone else and that it's okay to find your own style!

    Bleh, this was a ramble, but thank you for this brutally honest post. I hope you write more like this!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I've been lucky (so far) and not been a victim to the issues - or i'm unaware if i have! Anyway, i think this is a brilliant post and everyone will be able to relate to it in some way. Agree with all your points!
    :)
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  46. Haha thankyou! Every point you've made there is so true! I'm not a huge blogger myself as only use it to document my jewellery business, but am a big blog reader and I often find myself frustrated by one or more of the points above and have to send myself to bed. Great post miss!

    ReplyDelete
  47. I completely agree with everything on this post. I've noticed much truth to #3 these days

    ReplyDelete
  48. Really interesting post - especially from the view of a 'non-blogger' like me!
    I have a favourites folder full of blogs, and regularly catch up on a few I feel especially drawn to - usually ones where I get a sense of who the person is, and feel like if I knew them in real life we'd have something in common! It's very easy for me to come along, read a blog, enjoy it and then press the little X in the top corner, without really thinking about the negativity that could be affecting the person behind it.
    In the past I haven't commented on blogs, because it felt a little voyeuristic to be talking to someone about things they say about their life when I havent 'put myself out there' in the same way with a blog of my own. However I'm going to make more effort to comment on posts now because I would like my favourite bloggers to feel appreciated! :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. What a great post. I do gree with a lot of the point you brought up. I am still new to blogging so this sheds some light on a lot. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  50. i certainly empathise with your post, though I can't really relate to it very much as i'm only a newbie in the blogging world! (five posts and counting, boo yah!)
    It's sad that what initially starts out as a fun way to spend a bit of spare time soon gets cloaked with negativity, but i guess, like with anything i suppose, you just have to shrug it off and ignore it: bullies thrive off of reactions, so it's best not to give one ;)

    excellent post though, i'm now following! x

    ReplyDelete
  51. Love this post Sofia. Absolutely love it! These should be the 10 Commandments in Blogging "Know-How" (: Have bookmarked this to take a read of whenever I feel down because of blogging related dramz! I've noticed a LOT of most of these points over the past week or two and had to "endure" (I say endure, I mean skim read over the rudeness) personal insults myself. The key really is to make a conscious decision not to let it get to you and remember you have a life outside it all, as you said in #8. xx

    ReplyDelete
  52. since i posted my last comment on here i received another nasty comment, some people are so low lolxx

    ReplyDelete
  53. Well I think it has all been said, but yes I think nearly all of these points are true which for some is a shame. I think the main focus is to blog for you, your style, what you love, what your about.

    If you stay true to yourself than this all fades into grey. Like you have said in .... well all that you will always get haters you will always get people who don't get what blogging REALLY is about. I think that sometimes these things MUST be said, and well done for being the one to put them out there. I love this post, because I hope it will bring others together to see that we should embrace each other (not saying you have to love someone's blog)
    I think like what you like and avoid what you don't, that should be a blogger golden rule and don't let random anon stop you from blogging your way. Great Sofia :)

    ReplyDelete
  54. (Sorry for bad English, Sofia - I´m a brasilian girl). I absolutely agree! All you wrote is the true. I have not a blog but I noticed these things just reading and visiting blogs. It is the same happening in the "real" life: there are people that HATE the success from another one. Sometimes they just worry about it and forget to do something good in own blog (and in their LIFE). But you should go ahead... No one will avoid your success, because you are doing right things. I know you do not need do anything. You will stay at the top and that kind of people will go down, it is the results of jealous, it is fact. Good luck! I´m a fan of Sofia´s journal! XOXO Sara.

    ReplyDelete
  55. i totally agree with you on lots of these! it's sad but i'm actually waiting for my first hater. i havent had one yet and i feel like with my growing numbers its due to happen soon :/ maybe i'm just being paranoid lol. i also agree with the cliques and PR companies.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Number 3 is so unbelievably true!xx

    ReplyDelete
  57. I know we tweeted about this but I wanted to reinforce that this post was exactly what I needed to read;)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Hi again Sofia. I think followers must mean something to bloggers otherwise why would you blog if you only had 1 follower? Having more followers would boost your confidence and motivate you and you would want to blog to make those people who read your blog happy. I don't know where blogging would be without it.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  59. Yea I agree with all of these. One of my pet hates is I follow a good few blogs whose content I love and I always leave comments. I also try to chat to them on Twitter and never get any response, nor do I think any of them have ever visited my blog. It makes me feel like not reading their blogs as they obviously aren't interested in being friendly with new bloggers and readers. I also keep finding myself being seduced by all the lovely products some bloggers can buy - keep having to tell myself "No, I don't NEED it" lol..

    ReplyDelete
  60. Totally agree with all your points. I love blogging and couldn't imagine life without it but there is a darker side...I still get shocked when I see "hater" comments on blogs that I follow and sometimes it does feel like a bit of a competition with how many followers people have, how much bloggers can "haul" and who came up with an idea first. That said, my experience of blogging is really, really positive and I'll continue blogging as long as it stays that way :) x

    ReplyDelete
  61. I find it strange how there's almost a hierarchy in the 'blogasphere'. It seems as though some of the more successful/ followed bloggers will only talk to people on a par with their success. I've been blogging for about as long as you and my blog has been very slow and steady. Therefore I haven't really experienced much hate. In some ways I think the whole 'look' thing influences how successful blogs are but in other ways not at all. I think it's more to do with how good your camera is and the layout too. Personally I can't afford a high quality camera right now, and don't have somewhere that I can take photos in that looks good. But thanks for this post Sofia, it's very true xo

    ReplyDelete
  62. I felt like a lot of bloggers have been dealing with this issue recently and I really like this post! I know LLYMLRS had problems when she asked whether it was OK to fancy Seth Rogan now he lost a bit of weight (which I have taken out of context too) and received comments from people asking why she was so prejudiced against fat people - totally not what she meant! Sometimes people have to remember that blogs are personal and represent personal opinions and therefore you will not always agree, but it's not fair to be horrible about it! xx

    ReplyDelete
  63. Totally agree with the beauty side of it! All of the well established blogs that I read are from the pretty people. I find people (like myself) wanting to give up or feeling excluded from certain bloggers conversations and cliques. I for one have replied a couple reasonably well known bloggers on twitter numerous times however they have never acknowledged me.
    Of course there are also bloggers, with way more followers than those, who take the time to care about the people who read their blogs.
    I'll stop rambling now as I don't think I'm making much sense. (I blame the flu!)

    ReplyDelete
  64. Best post I've ever read, you speak the truth through and through. :)

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  65. Amazing post! Personally, reading all the comments in response to this I think it's really sad that everybody knows that the hurtful comments of 'haters' goes on, it just shows how rife it is in the blogging world. I've only started blogging today and I'm already scared of being bitched about by someone who has never even met me. I think it's important to remember that for every one or two nasty comments there will be far more people enjoying what you write and those are the people that matter. Thanks for showing me what to look out for :)

    ReplyDelete
  66. Great post but really sad that it needs to be written. I don't get why people get jealous or why someone would go to the effort of leaving a negative comment but I made the decision when I started my blog to turn off anon comments.

    I think it's important that you blog for yourself first and foremost and to remember who you are and stay true to yourself and your style. It's also not worth worrying about other peoples blogs and people 'copying' you. Most ideas have been done before so the only way ti be unique is to be yourself.

    I have come across some lovely people since I started blogging so would much rather focus on the positives than the negatives. Your blog is lovely and full of things that make me smile xx

    ReplyDelete
  67. Im new to blogging but have been reading your blog for a few months now and I felt compeled to write a comment-you are so creative and witty-I hope to one day get to where you are in the blogging community!
    You are right- blogging is super addictive!
    hope you can check me, I'd love your input on my own blog =)
    http://productjunkie504.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  68. i absolutely agree, its sich a shame that something so innocent can be so shit sometimes.
    people can be too bitchy and competetive.. what happened to just fun blogging?!
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  69. This is SO true! Im a fairly new blogger but I can already see that some people only get followed because they are stunning, or have good poses for photoshoots etc. Not necessarily because they have decent clothes or a good written style.
    in fact I sometimes puposely dont follow people for this reason, even if i'd like to because I feel like their egos dont need enlarging anymore- that sounds really harsh I know but I do.
    Having said all that, please check out my blog if you can renegadefashion-renegadefashion.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  70. Wow! So much truth spoken... I love reading blogs and partly that is down to being nosy, what people do with their lives fascinates me!

    However, I do feel that fashion/style/beauty blogs are destorting the equilibrium in my life! I feel a certain level of my disappointment when I try to compare my life to what other bloggers post about sometimes! I have a wonderful job, amazing boyfriend and great friends and family! But all to often I feel like I'm trying to make my life more interesting purely because it makes the blog more interesting/stylistic.

    People all too ofter comment that the magazines are forcing models and their perfect bodies down our throats, however, for me personally I sometimes feel blogs are more dangerous... the fact they are more realistic to the average person means people become much more aspirational and competitive. Given that this all exists behind internet closed doors, often means hateful and bad vibes are posted... it's a shame as the premise behind blogging really doesn't support these attitudes. Great post - it really opens plenty of discussion points up!

    ReplyDelete
  71. this is absolutely true! thanks for this post!

    ReplyDelete
  72. So so true, what a good post! I know you said you don't like negativity creeping into your blog but I think this needs to be said. People need to be more aware, blogging is becoming more popular and I think some people come into it very naive.
    Me and K have thankfully never encountered 'haters' but that's probably because we're only small!!
    Oh and I have to admit I am guilty of number 8, blogging is taking over my life!!
    I think it's easy to become jealous. You have to be happy for people though or else you're going to ruin blogging for yourself. I mean for example when LLYMLRS wrote from the Times - wow, something I could be jealous of but in the end you just have to congratulate and use it for your own motivation. The same goes for Lauren Luke, she's got her own make up line and everything now! Crazy!
    Awesome post!

    Love J.
    http://bon-vivant-clique.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  73. Such a great post, also so true!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  74. SOOOOOOOO true!
    beautiful post, love it, and love your blog!
    I'm a new follower xx

    ReplyDelete
  75. I love this post, very interesting and so true. It's nice to see something so honest.
    http://haveyoueverfalleninlove.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  76. Such a good post! I have very strong opinions about his topic and find it very sad that there are so many prejudice people who will not follow a blog because of that persons'looks' or 'number of followers'. So such a great post and very true!

    ReplyDelete
  77. brilliant and every point is true... to the point and well worded!! love when bloggers speak their mind and are honest! xo

    ReplyDelete
  78. Thank you for this post. I just started a blog and this has prepared me for what is to come(:
    xx
    Dani

    ReplyDelete
  79. WOAH you literally just wrote down every single thought relating to blogging on here! NICE! x

    ReplyDelete
  80. As a blog rookie, I just want to say this post made me have a wee think about things, and a-thank you :)
    Rebecca x

    ReplyDelete
  81. These posts are harsh but absolutely true. I've been blogging a month and have been lucky having recieved nothing but nice comments.
    But I do follow a blogger who almost shut down her blog because of the negative comments she recieved - all her readers luckily talked her out of it.
    The blog world is not different to the school playground. The hottest, prettiest bloggers will be the most popular and will clique together. Like you said that's just life. We all just have to swallow our pride sometimes and rise above it.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  82. I'm still fairly new to blogging but I couldn't agree more with this list! It's refreshing to know there is someone who is still real, keep doing what you do! thank you,xx

    ReplyDelete
  83. Good honest post. I have had the odd one or 2 rude.



    http://beaufashionxoxo.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  84. I tip my hat off to you! This is a very very clear post and I understand every point that you make! EVERY blogger must read this!

    Georgie
    xx

    http://styleprincessdiaries.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  85. I've been so scared to start my own blog because i was basically fearing everything you've said but i've come to realise that being scared shouldn't stop me from doing what i want to do. Every point you've made is so valid and so true and i think we all just need to be aware of what it's like out there. Great post! Seriously! x

    ReplyDelete
  86. I LOVED this post, so true! I've linked to it on my blog, I hope you don't mind!

    www.curiouskey.blogspot.com

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  87. As a fairly new blogger I'm beginning to find that these things are true.
    I could see where #8 could happen! haha

    Cate
    the-artist-eye.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  88. I've been victim of the rip off kinda thing and the being addicted to blogging hahaha, loved our disclaimer ppl can take things very personal :/

    ReplyDelete
  89. Blogging can really be addicting. When I started a while back, it was just some random posting, but when I finally found a topic that I liked to blog about, it became almost like I was glued to my dashboard, refreshing here and then,just to see new posts (of other blogs) and if I have comments. Good thing I learned to control it though, ^^,

    Good post! ^^

    ReplyDelete
  90. so true! I am now following your blog! this post is very interesting! truth well said! I'm looking forward to your next posts! =)

    ReplyDelete
  91. This is so great post. Ahh, so true. I start opened my blog end of december last year & i kinda workin' hard to attract a new reader on visit my blog. The point #4 is what i means.

    p/s: Great post ever!!..Will looking forward to your next!!. xx

    ReplyDelete
  92. I've definitely noticed #5... this post has obviously caused a few ripples (something that I think needed to happen, so complete hats off to you Sofia) in the blogging community and people on Twitter were saying that they don't see this clique thing - that's probably because these people are in the cliques and don't wish to acknowledge it.

    I find it difficult to stumble across a blog with thousands of followers and the blogger only posts when they've been sent a new item by a PR company. This is because I feel there are so many other brilliant blogs that just aren't recognised as widely, you really have to be thick skinned for blogging!

    Thank you for this post, I'm a pretty new blogger too and it really has been both a breath of fresh air and an eye opener. :)

    Sarah x

    ReplyDelete
  93. Some good points made, although I dont agree with number 3. Im no oil painting whatsoever and hardly ever post FOTD posts etc and Ive got a nice number of followers, over the 1k mark.

    Guess I make up for it somewhere on the looks part! haha.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I'm glad someone is willing to point out the fact that blogging isn't all rainbows and sunshine!

    ReplyDelete
  95. I absolutely agree with everything you said. So glad I ran into your blog! I am now a new follower. I'm new to the blogosphere and was so hesitant to do so because of a lot of the points you made. Now I know to expect these things so I really shouldn't care about those negative people. This was a great post!

    ReplyDelete
  96. Chances are I've been blogging on different websites over the last six years, and nothing really bad happened to me. I've had some of these hater-comments, and once someone stole my work, but everything's okay now :)

    I've got this badge on my blog, Blog With Integrity, and it's because I do so. Here's the website http://www.blogwithintegrity.com check it out!

    Love,
    Shanah.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Oh man, I 100% agree with this. Thank you for presenting it in a way that is neither judgy or self-righteous.

    The biggest ones I can identify with are the "people will rip you off" etc. There have been bloggers who have majorly been *inspired* by my content, blog layout & mannerisms. It's creepy and really, really, really frustrating. It's hard to draw the line sometimes between being being the bigger person and being a doormat.

    Thank you for bringing issues likes these and others about blogging, to light :)

    ReplyDelete
  98. this is an interesting post highlighting the many different aspects of blogging. I haven't been on the blogging scene for long... but for me it's so far been an postive outlet.. allowing me to get creative/ share stuff and ideas. it also allows me to talk to about stuff i wouldnt talk about to others.. =/

    YazmiinAktar
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  99. I've been blogging for about 5 years now, way back before blogging grew into this huge hype. I just hate how everyone thinks blogging is the new cool and that some would go as far as promoting themselves just to get sponsorships from labels and whatnots. It's like your blogging cred is more superior if you get more followers or more ads or more entries. So annoying! It used to be more personal, less business-y.

    ReplyDelete
  100. I really really love this post. It seems like these things are the things you're not meant to say in the blogging world, because you might be deemed spiteful or lose followers.
    I definately agree with the prettier/trendier the more popular and also with the cliques. I've never gotten a reply from a popular blogger(apart from a few exeptions). It's quite funny how we're all grown ups but start behaving like competitive high school teenagers when it comes to "who has the most followers".
    Thanks for writing this, you've got a new follower :)

    ReplyDelete
  101. Great post. I'm not sure what else I have to add to the other comments already made, but I loved it and agree! :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  102. Agree with ALL of these points.. I think the more 'popular' you get within the blogosphere (i hate that word), the more you're at risk from ~haterzzz~ and the whole 'you're putting yourself out there therefore i'm allowed to rip you apart' theory doesn't fly by me. As for blogging being cliquey.. I see ALOT of girls simply regurgitating content that they see on other blogs.. no one wants to read a review of a new product from 34567898765 different people. My blogging rule is that I write what I'd be interested in reading.
    Love your blog btw ;)

    ReplyDelete
  103. I agree with the point you had made regarding the blogging-cliques! Despite constantly commenting and or liking on those blogs with a higher status they tend to ignore my comments, only having 12 followers, and opt to converse with those of a similar stature. This isn't a playground and I hate that people would act in such a way!
    Absolutely fantastic post!
    x

    ReplyDelete
  104. Just started a blog, thanks for the advice!! x

    ReplyDelete
  105. ahh yeah i totally agree with the clique thing, i see that a lot on the more popular blogs xx

    ReplyDelete
  106. I think you have a good point :) I think most of us know these things, but sometimes it is good to point them out:)

    xxx

    ps: I do hope none of the above happened to you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  107. I've seen this post linked on so many of my fave blogs and just HAD to take a look! i completely agree with this post!!
    The cliques are so evident especially among the well-established
    And the 'brush-off' philosophy for new-bloggers is SO true!!

    Love this x

    http://say-bleurgh.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  108. Just found your blog and I must admit, I adore it. And everything that you said about the rough side of blogging, quite true!

    I have not been blogging enough to have experience negative comments, but I can imagine I may some day get to that point, and I must remember to not let it get to me.

    http://kateolmstead.com/

    ReplyDelete
  109. I agree with all except #3. I don't think more physically attractive bloggers do any better than any others.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Great post :).

    Sadie x

    http://brandnewbutterflywings.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  111. I dont mean to sound at all patronising but I have to say alot of this 'hating' I only see on younger girls blogs, us old folk not in our teens dont seem to get it as much. Ive had a few negative comments but just hit delete, we arent at high school anymore! I would like a way to take the number off my google follow button as I agree it seems to act as some kind of barometer for sucess. I think if you are writing a blog to get famous or whatever then you will never be sucessful, the best blogs are those who write for the sheer enjoyment of it. Great thought provoking post x

    ReplyDelete
  112. I just think any blogger worth following doesn't get bogged down with follower numbers and amount of sucking-up comments. Bloggers should purely do it for enjoyment themselves first and foremost, and try to add something unique and personal to the blogging world (as everyone is an inidivual, it shouldn't be difficult!) so I agree, it's sad how much negativity and jealousy seeps in.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Hi Sofia-I am a new follwer and I had to comment on this because I think it's a great post. I only have a few followers but had to change my comment settings because someone was 'anonymously' calling me horrible names in my comments. I don't know why anyone would do this but it is completely unneccessary, and such a shame. Love the blog keep up the good work xx

    www.creditcrunchchic.blogspot.com

    love Amie xx

    ReplyDelete
  114. I've never had hateful or men comments on my blog, but then again my blog is very small, not too many followers and I also don't think I would care if I did have one of those comments, as you say people get jealous and that is not something you as a person can do anything about... Giving these "haters" the publicity only fuels the problem, I think ignoring them is the best way to go.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  115. I agree with you! I dont really have any followers so I haven't really received any negative comments but if I do ever get them i think i woudln't care cos like i always say in my posts, i'll do what i love that makes me happy, with or without followers. and that's what i've been doing. i also agree on the fact that the mroe beautiful will have the higher chances of having a big audience, but you're so right saying that we shouldn't compare like its a competition. i believe we (bloggers) have our own characteristics that sets us apart from others. Thanks for reminding me that through this post! and I'm following you starting from now!

    ReplyDelete
  116. I've definitely noticed the thing about attractive bloggers, just from reading interviews and The Style Diaries. I'm so pleased someone has actually said it though.

    I really like your blog!
    x

    ReplyDelete
  117. This is so true about blogger jealousy, at the moment I only have 4 followers to my blog and I sometimes feel like I should stop as no one follows it but I love just updating it - even if its just for myself and those 4 people :)

    Love your blog by the way

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  118. What a fantastic piece,i also don't usually allow negativity to seep into my blog but given that ive only been at it a month,I can already vouch for these being valid observations on the blog world!

    Im so glad you pointed out how obsessive blogging can be,i small mindedly thought that it was just me who HAD to reply to every comment,tweet,text&email before i could relax (and dont get me started on the knot in the stomach before hitting the publish button on a post!! ;/)haha!
    Anyway im loving your blog,off to TK MAXX beauty dept for a rummage now
    Love Nat xxx

    ReplyDelete
  119. hi, i have just found your blog and i really like this post you've written. i dont have many followers but those who read my blog do ask why do i put stuff up like that or write about things such as my personal life.
    i was just wondering how do i go about following you on blogspot not just bloglovin, as i want it to come up in my blog feed dashboard.

    E x http://ecorbinmckenzie.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  120. I love this post, having only just started my own blog I have found this post so useful so would like to say thank you very much!!!

    http://thinking-pretty.blogspot.com/

    Charlotte xx

    ReplyDelete
  121. very well said!! nothing much to say you might as well kick me out :(

    ReplyDelete
  122. sadly, most of the thing you have said about blogging are true about life in general. any time someone attracts attention to themselves, intentionally or not, there are going to be people who scour for ways to bring them down. i hope you aren't plagued with as much negativity as most are; your blog is simply beautiful and your positivity and the fresh, joyful posts have been inspirational to me (and i'm sure many others)!!

    ReplyDelete
  123. great post! as a blogger myself i completely understand what you mean and agree with you on ALL points 100%! great blog btw :) stumbled upon it recently.

    ReplyDelete
  124. I've been blogging/tweeting for a week and it hasn't taken me long to work out point No:5 on the list is absolutely true! You can almost "feel" the contempt on twitter if you "dare" butt into their conversation. It's like being the new kid in school all over again.
    However, I've also "met" some wonderful people, whom I'll always remember as giving me the time of day in my first week.
    Overall, I LOVE this blogging business I've got myself into and intend to continue regardless! x
    Sofia, your blog is a true inspiration. x

    ReplyDelete
  125. I agree with all of your posts and I really am glad you did post this, even though it could be asking for some negativity; I have found this very helpful/ a huge relief to see I am not the only one noticing these aspects of blogging.
    I have only been blogging a short time, and had actually debated for quite a while before whether or not blogging would be a good idea for me.

    I love reading blogs, and I really do appreciate the time and effort people put into them, so it is too bad that some people have to make negative comments to put one's effort down. It's because of this that I always try to comment on posts that I find interesting, I hate to think that some of my fave bloggers are getting discouraged by people who are jealous of their creativity!

    ReplyDelete
  126. I really like your post. One thing I have learned after 2 years of blogging is that you have to let go of the jealousy/envy or it will eat you alive. I have to remind myself every now and then that blogging is not a popularity contest.
    - Marie

    ReplyDelete
  127. I completely agree with all of these. I've been blogging for almost 5 years (but only 3 months on my current blog) and I definitely see and experience much of this.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Oh yeas I agree with all the points. I like the fact that you say that if you are pretty, you are more likely to succeed. Look at the Fowler sister for example! Ok this is YT, but it's similar. I also noticed the cliques. To me, it's more of a UK thing, but maybe it's because I only have participated in event in London, as I'm sure it's the case elsewhere too,

    ReplyDelete
  129. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for leaving me a comment - I read and appreciate every single one. If you ask a question be sure to check back for my response! Remember you can tweet or email me too. Don't be a stranger xoxo